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Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I have discovered where the children are. The newborns, the toddlers, the young offspring of our Santa Barbara brethren. Perhaps you are like me and assumed they did not exist. Outside of Pokemon movies and expensive pre-schools, they were invisible to me. But, my friends, I have uncovered one of their hiding places. It is....
They become visible during this short period during the day. Dragged from their car seats kicking and screaming, they look disdainfully at everyone who walks by. They are dragged, universally, by their young mothers. Young here refers not to 14 or 15 year olds knocked up in the back of an 87 VW Golf, but to the 24-31 age group once thought extinct.
They walk the earth in search of great deals, double coupons, and something shiny & distracting to seal the mouth of their spawn long enough for them to remember the grocery list. Long gone from the downtown clubbing/dating/staggering scene, they now only appear at certain times of the day. The pre-5pm market run appears to be a favorite. The 8-5 crowd is still slaving away, and the college students don't wander in until they realize their fridge contains little more than Bud Light and a year old jar of Miracle Whip. This is the perfect time for little Johnny Jr. to get some air and stop choking the cat.
Here's a tip for any of you who might venture to a supermarket during these special times: the following aisles are busy
- diapers
- frozen dinners
- wine
- pain killers
- juices
- condoms